Nowhere is this more apparent than in photographs. I have never been much of one for saying "Ooh! Ooh! Take my picture!" but in college a fair number of photographs were taken and posted to Facebook. This summer I went to Chicago and Panama, and, among about 400 photos taken during those trips, I only have one picture from each trip of myself. Both were taken at the insistance of friends, saying "you have to have a picture of yourself in (insert place here)."
I had never been particularly self conscious about being photographed, but about 2-3 years ago I started avoiding photos when possible, because, frankly, I wasn't liking what I saw when they were posted to Facebook. Somehow when I look in the mirror, I don't see a huge person. However, when I see myself in photographs, especially when standing next to normal-sized people, I am painfully aware of my weight.
Seeing myself in photos is part of what motivates me to lose weight. I don't want to be twice the size of a healthy person. Sometimes in my daily routine it is easy for me to begin to think that my body is normal or that this is just the way I am. Sometimes I need an outside reminder that althoug I have always been heavy, being fat is not who I am, but rather what I have become.
So, a photo montage of the past 6 years.
Freshman year, about 230 pounds:
Another Freshman year photo:
Beginning of Junior year. Not sure of exact weight. 230-250? I'm the one in the pink next to the wall:
Graduation, May 2007. About 280 pounds:
Third Thursday, May 2009. About 305 pounds:
Chicago, June 2010. About 340 pounds:
Panama, September 2010. About 340 pounds:
Weight gain is gradual, and sometimes it sneaks up on us. Photos can be a reality check. As I continue on this journey, I will periodicaly post photos - and hopefully we can see the same in reverse!
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